December 11th :
Today it was my work group's turn to work on a 'dream home'. It was fantastic! I can now add roof thatching to my resume. In this case, rather than starting from scratch, we took the frame of an existing structure and added to it. The frame was leaning over about 20 degrees. We collectively pushed with all of our might and propped up the house with some logs. We got a quick lesson on how to properly attach the thatch to the roof and it looked really easy to do...until we tried it for ourselves. After several failed attempts we decided it wasn't for a lack of technique but rather a lack of what Tommy refers to as “insane Cambodian finger strength”. I guess using a keyboard all day doesn't develop the same finger muscles. In any case, we did the best we could and by the end of the day we had almost completed the roof. We lamented not being able to run to the nearest Home Hardware to pick up the necessary tools to make things easier. Some zap straps could have gone a long way. This was a good exercise for us... an opportunity to remind ourselves that we are here to learn other ways of doing things. We resisted the temptation to take charge, although harder for some than others. Mr. Theary from BAB was patient and helpful. I can only guess that the people were at times too polite to tell us when we were doing things wrong.
Back home, the secret to success is in developing a specialized skill. In so doing, we are far removed from all the things that we consume. Here, survival depends on one's ability to maximize the utility of the land. Resources don't go to waste. Self-sufficiency is key. Virtually all the materials used for the house come from the land: bamboo, logs (sticks may be a more accurate description), rice stalks and cow dung. It's like a real-life episode of survivor. I don't think my wicked excel spreadsheet skills would be of much use here. I admire the people's ability to sustain themselves because if I had to do the same back home, I would likely go hungry. In my 20 years of formal schooling, I don't recall sustainable agriculture ever being on the curriculum. I hope to make the time to grow a garden this summer.
As some of us clung to the roof frame and attached thatch, the others played with the kids... and there is no lack of kids and this is no surprise given that the average Cambodian age is 21 and that the average life expectancy is less than 60 years of age. We played games, threw a ball around, did gymnastics and sang songs. When we showed up they must have wondered what in God's name we were doing there. At first, the kids were very skeptical and shy...almost scared of us, but mesmerized. Shalen is a clown and made animals and flowers with some balloons and the kids loved them! A child's ability to be present, spontaneous and honest never fails to impress me. Tommy was a hit with his gymnastic tricks. Teresa, Courtney and April's games were very well received. The macarena and chicken dance have officially been introduced and well received in rural Cambodia – we all do our little part. It didn't take long before we had the kids wrapped around our fingers. A little love and attention goes a long way. By the end of the day we had a gang of about 15 children chasing and screaming as our bus departed. This is the juice. These moments make it all worthwhile.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Developing Connections: Life-long friendships made.
December 10th:
Day two at work. Progress was made. Work was done. Bonds re-inforced. Connections established. We went to the crab shacks for dinner. By the time this trip is over I will have eaten more crab in a two week stint than I have in the last few years. The only problem with crab? I burn more calories getting to the meat than I get from consuming it. I lie – there is another problem with crab: it always tastes like more. Vy, Saran and Christina came to dinner with us. Christina is an American ex-pat with a curious English accent who is working with BAB. She gave up her stressful, corporate and material existence (her words) to work indefinitely with BAB in Cambodia. She is radiant. Members of the other group shared their experiences building a house from the ground up in two days. Thanks to them, one impoverished Cambodian family is the proud owner of a sturdy new 'dream home.' By the way, this home is a shack by western standards. It is a square building maybe 12 feet by 12 feet with a thatch roof and walls. No matter, the family was very pleased and proud, as was the group. Their stories of laughter, playing with the kids and of a unique building experience left my group looking very forward to starting our dream home.
Repeat good times from the night before. I am amazed by this group's energy. I don't know if they always have this much energy or if they are going to need a vacation from their working vacation when they get home. I seem to have more energy myself. Maybe its the sun. Maybe its the people. Maybe its the positive energy. Whatever, I like it. Some of us went to bed. Guitars were played. Laughter was had. I enjoyed the company of the ten or so of us that went for a midnight swim in the ocean. Note to self: swim under moonlight again.
I am enjoying this group. The group is such a crucial part of the experience. No doubt, it comes with its challenges as well; people have personalities that don't always mix well and some are better able than others to adapt and focus on the positive. Given our size, to this group's credit, we have all done well and I can confidently say that overall we enjoy each other's company. Some people came as individuals while others have come with their friends. It is interesting to observe the evolving dynamics of the group as people feel increasingly comfortable with each other. It is amazing how well you can get to know people in such a short time when you share the same hotel, eat your meals together, work together and share unique experiences together. This is a group bonding experience and not for those who wish to do it alone.... or who have no intention of learning how to do groups. I enjoy watching people become friends and their is no doubt long-terms relationships will come out of this. On this Developing World Connections experience, I can see clearly that the connections made are as much about those we make with each other as a group as those we make with the community and the locals. This group is relatively homogeneous in age and experience and best described as a group of 'young professionals.' I listen closely to people's conversations about relationships, careers, life paths and ambitions. Processing our experience and learning during the day by relating them with our peers is priceless. We will all go back to our regular lives and some of our relationships may not be sustained. But, no matter. I already now that ten years from now I may stumble across the path of someone from this group who I lost touch with and we will have that instant connection. We will reminisce about the day we built that house together, that time we blew balloons and sang and played with the kids .... about how at once, working together, we felt safe, connected and undaunted by this crazy, big and troubled world.
Day two at work. Progress was made. Work was done. Bonds re-inforced. Connections established. We went to the crab shacks for dinner. By the time this trip is over I will have eaten more crab in a two week stint than I have in the last few years. The only problem with crab? I burn more calories getting to the meat than I get from consuming it. I lie – there is another problem with crab: it always tastes like more. Vy, Saran and Christina came to dinner with us. Christina is an American ex-pat with a curious English accent who is working with BAB. She gave up her stressful, corporate and material existence (her words) to work indefinitely with BAB in Cambodia. She is radiant. Members of the other group shared their experiences building a house from the ground up in two days. Thanks to them, one impoverished Cambodian family is the proud owner of a sturdy new 'dream home.' By the way, this home is a shack by western standards. It is a square building maybe 12 feet by 12 feet with a thatch roof and walls. No matter, the family was very pleased and proud, as was the group. Their stories of laughter, playing with the kids and of a unique building experience left my group looking very forward to starting our dream home.
Repeat good times from the night before. I am amazed by this group's energy. I don't know if they always have this much energy or if they are going to need a vacation from their working vacation when they get home. I seem to have more energy myself. Maybe its the sun. Maybe its the people. Maybe its the positive energy. Whatever, I like it. Some of us went to bed. Guitars were played. Laughter was had. I enjoyed the company of the ten or so of us that went for a midnight swim in the ocean. Note to self: swim under moonlight again.
I am enjoying this group. The group is such a crucial part of the experience. No doubt, it comes with its challenges as well; people have personalities that don't always mix well and some are better able than others to adapt and focus on the positive. Given our size, to this group's credit, we have all done well and I can confidently say that overall we enjoy each other's company. Some people came as individuals while others have come with their friends. It is interesting to observe the evolving dynamics of the group as people feel increasingly comfortable with each other. It is amazing how well you can get to know people in such a short time when you share the same hotel, eat your meals together, work together and share unique experiences together. This is a group bonding experience and not for those who wish to do it alone.... or who have no intention of learning how to do groups. I enjoy watching people become friends and their is no doubt long-terms relationships will come out of this. On this Developing World Connections experience, I can see clearly that the connections made are as much about those we make with each other as a group as those we make with the community and the locals. This group is relatively homogeneous in age and experience and best described as a group of 'young professionals.' I listen closely to people's conversations about relationships, careers, life paths and ambitions. Processing our experience and learning during the day by relating them with our peers is priceless. We will all go back to our regular lives and some of our relationships may not be sustained. But, no matter. I already now that ten years from now I may stumble across the path of someone from this group who I lost touch with and we will have that instant connection. We will reminisce about the day we built that house together, that time we blew balloons and sang and played with the kids .... about how at once, working together, we felt safe, connected and undaunted by this crazy, big and troubled world.
First Project Day: Group bonding, laughs and hard work.
December 9th:
Up early, we had pancakes, omelets, juice and fruit for breakfast. More importantly, we had coffee which, to my surprise, was excellent. By 7:30am Cambodian time (i.e. 8am), we were off to work. Our group split into two. One group started building a 'dream home' from scratch while the other was charged with prepping and painting a community building. As part of the second group, I must admit I wasn't too stoked by the prospect of painting all day. I wondered if this wasn't just 'makework'. I reminded myself that this was something a large group could do efficiently and, in so doing, afford the the community time and energy for other things... that there was a purpose to all of this. Our group made the experience and we kept ourselves entertained with jokes, trivia, games and singing. All of us - particularly those of us with office jobs – really enjoyed using our hands and seeing the tangible benefits of our actions. I would love to know what the Cambodian staff working with us was thinking as our boisterous group laughed and laughed, although I can image they think we are a little “loplop” (crazy). Good times.
Both groups met up for a delicious lunch prepared by a women named Saran. Saran takes great pride in her food which is as colourful and delicious as her personality. Saran is a beautiful person inside and out with a genuine and lively spirit. Her smile and laughter are contagious. I am sure I am not the only man in this group who has a secret crush on her. I find the Cambodian people very warm and friendly, if not a little shy. Their character is very endearing. People smile a lot even if, from a Western perspective, many may have less reason to. I would like to make a public vow to complain less and smile more, even when I come home to snow and settle back into the routine of real life. Laughing and smiling feels really good – I needed the reminder. Thanks Cambodia.
After lunch some settled in for a power nap before heading back to work. Myself, I resisted for fear of not wanting to wake up. The group bonding (and work) continued until 4pm. We came home, showered up and headed to the Kep Lodge for drinks and dinner. In keeping with our experience so far, the food was fantastic. By the way, our rooms at the Beach House are also really nice as we have a view overlooking the ocean. Air conditioning at night is a godsend.
In Cambodia, any future Developing World Connections participant need not worry about “roughing it.” On the contrary, if one were looking for a reason to complain, they could argue that we are living in too much luxury. My thoughts? Well, there really isn't really an 'in-between' alternative and our business is appreciated. More importantly, we do deserve it – we work hard. For those with guilty complexes, I suppose our comfort level compared to that of of the people we serve could make them feel uncomfortable. But no such guilt with this group. For me, the privilege of seeing the “poor” conditions of those we serve only reaffirms in me a greater sense of appreciation and gratitude. Besides, soon enough I will be back to wieners and microwave food so I chose to enjoy the good life while it lasts.
After dinner Chrystie led our group in a game of “how well do you know each other”. Everybody shared something interesting about themselves on a piece of paper and then we split into two groups. Each time one group guessed the correct person to which the tidbit applied, it got a point. I regret to inform you that I didn't know that my sister had one foot bigger than the other. I fear that moi, the intrepid leader himself, may have cost my team the game. I was forgiven. We shared more laughs, some more drinks and then we danced and relished in the moment. Fun and laughter is no doubt a major theme on this trip.
Up early, we had pancakes, omelets, juice and fruit for breakfast. More importantly, we had coffee which, to my surprise, was excellent. By 7:30am Cambodian time (i.e. 8am), we were off to work. Our group split into two. One group started building a 'dream home' from scratch while the other was charged with prepping and painting a community building. As part of the second group, I must admit I wasn't too stoked by the prospect of painting all day. I wondered if this wasn't just 'makework'. I reminded myself that this was something a large group could do efficiently and, in so doing, afford the the community time and energy for other things... that there was a purpose to all of this. Our group made the experience and we kept ourselves entertained with jokes, trivia, games and singing. All of us - particularly those of us with office jobs – really enjoyed using our hands and seeing the tangible benefits of our actions. I would love to know what the Cambodian staff working with us was thinking as our boisterous group laughed and laughed, although I can image they think we are a little “loplop” (crazy). Good times.
Both groups met up for a delicious lunch prepared by a women named Saran. Saran takes great pride in her food which is as colourful and delicious as her personality. Saran is a beautiful person inside and out with a genuine and lively spirit. Her smile and laughter are contagious. I am sure I am not the only man in this group who has a secret crush on her. I find the Cambodian people very warm and friendly, if not a little shy. Their character is very endearing. People smile a lot even if, from a Western perspective, many may have less reason to. I would like to make a public vow to complain less and smile more, even when I come home to snow and settle back into the routine of real life. Laughing and smiling feels really good – I needed the reminder. Thanks Cambodia.
After lunch some settled in for a power nap before heading back to work. Myself, I resisted for fear of not wanting to wake up. The group bonding (and work) continued until 4pm. We came home, showered up and headed to the Kep Lodge for drinks and dinner. In keeping with our experience so far, the food was fantastic. By the way, our rooms at the Beach House are also really nice as we have a view overlooking the ocean. Air conditioning at night is a godsend.
In Cambodia, any future Developing World Connections participant need not worry about “roughing it.” On the contrary, if one were looking for a reason to complain, they could argue that we are living in too much luxury. My thoughts? Well, there really isn't really an 'in-between' alternative and our business is appreciated. More importantly, we do deserve it – we work hard. For those with guilty complexes, I suppose our comfort level compared to that of of the people we serve could make them feel uncomfortable. But no such guilt with this group. For me, the privilege of seeing the “poor” conditions of those we serve only reaffirms in me a greater sense of appreciation and gratitude. Besides, soon enough I will be back to wieners and microwave food so I chose to enjoy the good life while it lasts.
After dinner Chrystie led our group in a game of “how well do you know each other”. Everybody shared something interesting about themselves on a piece of paper and then we split into two groups. Each time one group guessed the correct person to which the tidbit applied, it got a point. I regret to inform you that I didn't know that my sister had one foot bigger than the other. I fear that moi, the intrepid leader himself, may have cost my team the game. I was forgiven. We shared more laughs, some more drinks and then we danced and relished in the moment. Fun and laughter is no doubt a major theme on this trip.
What the group's expectations were before the trip.
December 8th:
Here are some the things people wrote about their expectations before coming on this trip:
“I am motivated to see the world and not from the balcony of some hotel. To really learn about the people, share our experiences and knowledge. I want my son Denver to have the same opportunity in the near future.”
“I want the chance to travel to new worlds, experience different cultures and to be a part of something that extends way beyond myself.”
“I am really looking forward to seeing in action what my brother works hard to promote and make happen.”
“I would like to use this opportunity to grow personally and get to know myself better through out the
adventure!”
“I'm quite excited to be part of this group. What a fantastic opportunity to do something out of the ordinary, to contribute, and to learn! I hope to be a help, not a burden; to meet people, to share stories and make connections;to learn a few new dance moves and to see a new part of the world for me. I also hope to have some great photos and stories to share when I return to Canada.”
“I am excited to learn about Cambodia and its people, and hoping to learn a little about myself as well.
I’d like to contribute, somehow, to making this world a better place for children to inherit. If the sun is out…oh yah I’m motivated!”
“I need to do something that means something beyond my own little world. Spontaneously attempting something out of my comfort zone.”
This group is here for the right reason. This a humble group that understands intuitively the difference between development work and service. This is a hard working bunch of people who needed to get away, gain some perspective and have some fun. So here we are, nourishing our souls and getting what we need while being of service to others. What a fantastic concept. With Developing World Connections, here we are living it.
After the orientation we went to the hotel, settled in and had dinner. The night was ours to enjoy the beach, reflect and rest.
Here are some the things people wrote about their expectations before coming on this trip:
“I am motivated to see the world and not from the balcony of some hotel. To really learn about the people, share our experiences and knowledge. I want my son Denver to have the same opportunity in the near future.”
“I want the chance to travel to new worlds, experience different cultures and to be a part of something that extends way beyond myself.”
“I am really looking forward to seeing in action what my brother works hard to promote and make happen.”
“I would like to use this opportunity to grow personally and get to know myself better through out the
adventure!”
“I'm quite excited to be part of this group. What a fantastic opportunity to do something out of the ordinary, to contribute, and to learn! I hope to be a help, not a burden; to meet people, to share stories and make connections;to learn a few new dance moves and to see a new part of the world for me. I also hope to have some great photos and stories to share when I return to Canada.”
“I am excited to learn about Cambodia and its people, and hoping to learn a little about myself as well.
I’d like to contribute, somehow, to making this world a better place for children to inherit. If the sun is out…oh yah I’m motivated!”
“I need to do something that means something beyond my own little world. Spontaneously attempting something out of my comfort zone.”
This group is here for the right reason. This a humble group that understands intuitively the difference between development work and service. This is a hard working bunch of people who needed to get away, gain some perspective and have some fun. So here we are, nourishing our souls and getting what we need while being of service to others. What a fantastic concept. With Developing World Connections, here we are living it.
After the orientation we went to the hotel, settled in and had dinner. The night was ours to enjoy the beach, reflect and rest.
The Group's Arrival in the village of Chamkar Bei
December 8th:
Looking and feeling surprisingly refreshed, the group was ready to finally discover Kep and the Village of Chamkar Bei and to meet our host partners. An hour or so in, we were all startled by a loud bang. My first thought was that we had hit one of the stray dogs that fearlessly navigate the streets. In fact, we had blown a tire. Experience dictates that, in the developing world, plans should be considered as guidelines and one should always expect the unexpected. Coming from a culture that obsessively manages risk and makes plans to plan, going with the flow doesn't always come easy. For better or worse, in a country like Cambodia, where many people are forced to live day to day, one can see the futility in making rigid plans too far into the future. My travels in the developing world always serve me well as a reminder to make plans, but to stay flexible … and to not allow myself to get bent out of shape when life happens not as planned.
Our bus driver - whose name I won't even attempt to spell – is excellent. He is very shy and even my attempts at non-verbal communication fall short. But, most importantly, he is an excellent driver and we all feel very secure. We took advantage of this time out to munch on some bananas and drink some imitation Red Bull. We took lots of pictures with locals and Shalen even got her hair styled by a lovely girl. (When was the last time you saw a family run, road-side hair salon?) Very little goes to waste here – I could see the cut hair in the compost pile. Whether or not the driver needed help, some of the 'problem solvers' (i.e. the men) jumped and generously offered their brawn. Within half an hour we were back on the road with new used tire.
An hour later we stopped for a lunch and enjoyed the company of the children and seniors hovering around us hoping to sell us gum, tiger balm and trinkets. I always get a kick out the harmless dogs that circle the tables hoping for a scrap of food... and nobody cares. Can you imagine eating at a restaurant in North America with dogs circling? Were the average Cambodian to visit my world, s/he would think we were nothing short of uptight. But when in Rome, do as the Romans do. To my group's credit, nobody has seemed to be bothered by the 'strangeness' of life here (or at least nobody has complained). On the contrary, everybody would appear to enjoy the novelty. We ate an assorted array of dishes. Some of us took advantage of the fact that beer is as cheap as the water. Hesitant at first, many have now buckled and are ignoring the travel nurse's instructions not to have drinks with ice. So far, nobody has gotten sick – fingers crossed.
Bellies full, we sallied forth to the village of Chamcar Bei and to the Bridges Across Borders' (BAB) project site. Here, we met the Bridges Across Borders team and they gave us an orientation. They told us of the important work they do which is comprehensive and sustainable. BAB's work is the epidemy of participatory community development and responsible development practice.
Cambodia's history is horrifically violent. Nothing but time can heal the emotional scars of a traumatized people. Under Pol Pot, from 1974-79, educated people were systematically eliminated and families were torn apart and pitted against one another in a mass murder. The social systems and processes most of us take for granted, and sometimes aren't even aware of, were strategically attacked. Though lacking physical infrastructure and economic capital, it is, above all, Cambodia's social capital and human development that will secure its future. Talking with people, it would seem that most have adopted a spirit of forgiveness. Vy, our lovely Cambodian project manager, pointed out the house where the wife of the former Khmer Rouge boss in this area lives. This area was a Khmer Rouge strong hold. People would have good reason to despise this woman, yet she lives as any member of this community. Being witness to forgiveness and BAB's work gives me hope that Cambodia's future is a brighter one.
At the orientation, BAB's staff asked us why were here. In a group setting, it was interesting to observe everybody's responses: “I am here to learn from you.” “I am here to better understand Cambodian culture.” “I am here to help out where I can.” If anyone had harboured any romantic notions about teaching Cambodians how to be, they were not voiced. Our answers made me feel proud .
Looking and feeling surprisingly refreshed, the group was ready to finally discover Kep and the Village of Chamkar Bei and to meet our host partners. An hour or so in, we were all startled by a loud bang. My first thought was that we had hit one of the stray dogs that fearlessly navigate the streets. In fact, we had blown a tire. Experience dictates that, in the developing world, plans should be considered as guidelines and one should always expect the unexpected. Coming from a culture that obsessively manages risk and makes plans to plan, going with the flow doesn't always come easy. For better or worse, in a country like Cambodia, where many people are forced to live day to day, one can see the futility in making rigid plans too far into the future. My travels in the developing world always serve me well as a reminder to make plans, but to stay flexible … and to not allow myself to get bent out of shape when life happens not as planned.
Our bus driver - whose name I won't even attempt to spell – is excellent. He is very shy and even my attempts at non-verbal communication fall short. But, most importantly, he is an excellent driver and we all feel very secure. We took advantage of this time out to munch on some bananas and drink some imitation Red Bull. We took lots of pictures with locals and Shalen even got her hair styled by a lovely girl. (When was the last time you saw a family run, road-side hair salon?) Very little goes to waste here – I could see the cut hair in the compost pile. Whether or not the driver needed help, some of the 'problem solvers' (i.e. the men) jumped and generously offered their brawn. Within half an hour we were back on the road with new used tire.
An hour later we stopped for a lunch and enjoyed the company of the children and seniors hovering around us hoping to sell us gum, tiger balm and trinkets. I always get a kick out the harmless dogs that circle the tables hoping for a scrap of food... and nobody cares. Can you imagine eating at a restaurant in North America with dogs circling? Were the average Cambodian to visit my world, s/he would think we were nothing short of uptight. But when in Rome, do as the Romans do. To my group's credit, nobody has seemed to be bothered by the 'strangeness' of life here (or at least nobody has complained). On the contrary, everybody would appear to enjoy the novelty. We ate an assorted array of dishes. Some of us took advantage of the fact that beer is as cheap as the water. Hesitant at first, many have now buckled and are ignoring the travel nurse's instructions not to have drinks with ice. So far, nobody has gotten sick – fingers crossed.
Bellies full, we sallied forth to the village of Chamcar Bei and to the Bridges Across Borders' (BAB) project site. Here, we met the Bridges Across Borders team and they gave us an orientation. They told us of the important work they do which is comprehensive and sustainable. BAB's work is the epidemy of participatory community development and responsible development practice.
Cambodia's history is horrifically violent. Nothing but time can heal the emotional scars of a traumatized people. Under Pol Pot, from 1974-79, educated people were systematically eliminated and families were torn apart and pitted against one another in a mass murder. The social systems and processes most of us take for granted, and sometimes aren't even aware of, were strategically attacked. Though lacking physical infrastructure and economic capital, it is, above all, Cambodia's social capital and human development that will secure its future. Talking with people, it would seem that most have adopted a spirit of forgiveness. Vy, our lovely Cambodian project manager, pointed out the house where the wife of the former Khmer Rouge boss in this area lives. This area was a Khmer Rouge strong hold. People would have good reason to despise this woman, yet she lives as any member of this community. Being witness to forgiveness and BAB's work gives me hope that Cambodia's future is a brighter one.
At the orientation, BAB's staff asked us why were here. In a group setting, it was interesting to observe everybody's responses: “I am here to learn from you.” “I am here to better understand Cambodian culture.” “I am here to help out where I can.” If anyone had harboured any romantic notions about teaching Cambodians how to be, they were not voiced. Our answers made me feel proud .
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